captiv8tin

Ive been depressed for much of my life. Im really young so its sad to say it but it is the truth. Today I am feeling particularly bad. Last night I went

Posted in Invisible Pain

...We leave the restaurant, but not before I use the bathroom. Pregnant women have to go like every 5 minutes!!!!!!!!! As we exit D'jango's he reached for my hand. I am both perturbed and pleasantly surprised. We begin walking to his car, parked miles away near the new Georgia Aquarium.  I dont really remember what we discussed, I just remember feeling lovely, protected and anxious about what was to come. I tell him that we have to stop at my place so that I can get some things. I run in, take a quick shower and pack a bag. He patiently waits and when I return to the card he again reaches for my hand and we begin our journey to a Hotel that his company has him staying at in Doraville, he is in Atlanta on business. He asks me if I want anything before we head in. I ask for orange juice, but not from concentrate. We drive around in circles looking for a stored once we reach the exit to his hotel and because I am tired I tell him that I can do without it as long as he has water at the Hotel. He responds in a sweet and silly manner " NO, if the lady wants orange juice then bygolly she will have it." I smile and relax feeling like Im in good hands. If he insists on pleasing me in such a small way then what other nice things can I look forward to? Finally, we arrive at the Hotel OJ in tow, I can't help but feeling like a hooker as we walk pass the front lobby. Im on the bed within seconds ( hey, I said I was tired) while he is busy doing this and that. I watch him closely and our eyes meet, next thing I knew he was on the bed two and our lips were locked in a passionate kiss as he let his hands travel to all the right spots. We didn't get much sleep. He was wonderful and playful and adventerous. We both admitted to having experienced a lot of "firsts" that night. 

The next day we both had stuff to do. Ironically, he and I were both going to be entertaining some extended family. We had breakfast at The Pleasant Peasant in Midtown. He was still the same gentleman that I'd met the night before and I could not get enough of him. We sat next to each other and held hands and kissed and tasted each other food. I had pancakes and a side of bacon and grits with orange juice, of course. He had some kind of biscuit with meat and poached egg (eeewww). He loved the cheese grits. He lives in Cali so he's not really used to Southern cooking. It was fun feeding him. It felt so normal, like we'd been a couple for months or even years. He dropped me off at home and I slept till my Aunt and cousin arrived. It was a short visit (thank God) and as I walked them out to the car all I could think about was this sweet stranger. When I got back in the house I grabbed my phone and saw that I had one missed call. Guess who? I called him back and turns out he was thinking of me too because he wanted to know if I was interested in seeing him again. Duh! He arrived shortly after and back to the Hotel we went. We ordered Chinese food and then he took me to Asia and Paris and Rome. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that good. But it definately was a lot of fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We went to bed so late and had to get up in time to pack up and check out. He had a flight to catch around 6 so we still had plenty of time chill and get to know each other outside of the sack.  I decided to take him to Piedmont Park. We killed time by walking around, spectating a socccer game and enjoying the wild life at the lake. We snapped pictures to seal the memories on film. Once that got old I decided that the Botanical Gardens would be nice too. So we drove there and enjoyed the exhibit BUGS and to his surprise there was also a carnivrous plant show going on as well. He is really into those kinds of plants.  While there we saw this big pod looking plant that I asked him to pick for me (it looked like a giant green bean). He agreed to steal one on our way out. By the time we made it out the greenhouse I had learned that they were Vanilla Beans but had forgotten all about the fact that I wanted one. He asked it if I still did and I said " No, you're my Vanilla Bean." The name stuck, for a while. He thought it was cute. Finally, the time came to say goodbye, we drove to the Airport and kissed and hugged goodbye as tears welled up on my eyes. How could I feel such strong attachment to this sweet stranger? We agreed to keep in touch and have talked nearly every day since then. That was 3 months ago!!!!!!!!

Allow me to back track for a second.  While at Djangos we were talking about places we've been and would love to go.  We discussed how we'd both like to go to New Orleans.  He's aways wanted to go there because he believes that it is so rich in culture, music and history. Im more into tropical destinations but was still into the idea of going there one day. So once he got wind of the fact that I wanted to go on a "Babymoon" he suggested that we go there. I was so shocked  and exited about seeing him again, it really didn't matter where we went!!!!!!!!! The weeks flew by and before I knew it I was in his arms again.

Posted in Amor

So I've been reading this book called Women Who Run with Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype Clarissa Pinkola Estes. There is a chapter or section called Skeleton Woman that I am very intrested in because it tottally speaks to my current situation with this beautiful man I met back in September. It was a Friday. I  was off work that day and decided to take a friends daughter to the zoo. The day was long and hot and after lugging  a 3 year old around all day I was ready for some R&R. So I decided to treat myself to my favorite West Indian dish, Brown stew chicken from Jamaica Jamaica at the Underground in Atlanta. I actually ended up being persuaded into trying the Eskovitch Chicken by the waiter (he knows I only get one thing; creature of habit). So anyway, it was a bad idea because though it tasted great, it included these really REALLY hot peppers, one of which I bit into and nearly started a fire in my mouth. They brought me water, bread butter and of all things sugar to put the flames out.  Oh, and with my meal I had this wonderful fruit punch that the waiter kept bringing me more and more of. So I was in the restaurant for much longer than I normally would have been. Ok, so I finish and lazily make my way out of the Underground to the bus and don't even realize just how tired I am. I get on the elevator and press every button because the fatigue of the day gives me temporary amnesia and can not remember what floor to exit at.  Finally I reach the right floor and start walking when this short man in a tan baseball cap (no emblem) jeans, a t-shirt and some sandals that remind me of Morocco (not that I have been there, yet) approaches me. He is holding some type of small notebook and telling someone, on the other end of his blackberry, in a rather disappointed tone how there are just a bunch of kids at the Underground. My head is down until he asks me if I know of anywhere that he can find a more mature crowd. I interpret that as "where can I find some grown and sexy people close to my age." I have just the place in mind and since my bus just pulled off I offer to walk him to the M Bar. He, being this polite little wonder of a man, asks repeatedly if I am being taken out of my way. He seems harmless (and cute) and I assure him that because I just missed my bus its no big deal. I am happy to extend some southern hospitality to this kind stranger.  He walks really fast. I am already think and pregnant so I tell him he has got to slow down. He swift pace probably has something to do with his nervousness seeing as how Im just so "captivating" (his words, not mine).  We arrive at the M Bar and to my surprise its closed!!! I feel silly but, its dowtown Atlanta, all he has to do is walk up the congested river called Peachtree Street and he's bound to run into a grown and sexy crowd. I tell him this but he keeps asking me what Im doing tonight. Im tired, Im going home to shower and read a magazine. He can not believe it, will not allow it and asks me to join him. Like I said, he seems harmless, there is something so sweet and I really dont want to be alone tonight so I oblige. We walk all the way to D'jangos (Ive been on my feet all day so I cant even believe I made it as tired as I was). He tells me to pick the spot where I want to sit. I choose upstairs. I sit down and he asks if he can sit next to me as opposed to across from me ( I always look at couples who do that and smile, its a small but romantic gesture) I'm all for it and so we begin. Im not hungry and neither is he so I ask for a glass of wine (hey, I know what you are thinking but Im only human). He insists on a bottle and I refuse but I dont want to tell him the truth about my baby just yet. Its very early in the pregnancy and I am still not happy about my current circumstance. The waiter eggs him on and finally a bottle of Chardonnay is brought to the table. We talk about work, travel, what we done for fun, you know ice breaker talk. Im tipsy after not one but a few glasses of wine and the time comes for us to leave. He asks me if I will join him for the night, he too does not want to be alone and insists that we could just watch t.v. At this point Im all for it, this man is smart, sweet and the vibe is great (especially when you add wine to the equation)..................

Posted in Amor